God’s Autobiography


Here’s some random thoughts from an erstwhile writer:

Considering writing a book about the 10 best reasons why god exists.  Watched the movie “Bruce Almighty”; Morgan Freeman was terrific as God

Decided to do a biography about God instead.  Turns out that God already has his own autobiography (the Bible)

Note to self: God didn’t actually pick up a pen and write the Bible himself, although he supposedly wrote the Ten Commandments in stone with his finger (nice trick; no wonder they considered him to be God)

Apparently, God “inspired” the writers of the Bible and they wrote down the words.  Could it be that the Bible writers were some scribes sitting in a cave out in the middle of the desert? Note to self: Who would believe some old desert rat when he said God talked to him?

Getting goose bumps – maybe this all actually happened in Qumran!  Note from my trip to Israel: Trying to retrace the steps of Jesus.  Went to Qumran.  I didn’t see any Christians along the way, or even Jews for that matter, but I did see a lot of Muslims though.  Very odd.

Doing research (ugh).  Don’t quite know which Bible I’m suppose to use; there’s so many to choose from.  Apparently the Jews are the Chosen People because God only appeared to them; he  sends his messengers to talk to the others (Muslims, Mormons et al)

God’s personality profile: all-loving/angry/jealous/everyone fears him. Do follow-up: investigate if he is bipolar

What! No one can tell me who actually wrote most of the Bible.  Desperately need a reliable source – got to talk to God

Can’t find anyone who has talked to God in the last 2,000 years.  Why can’t God just tweet us?Heard that you can follow God on twitter (yeah, right).  Hopefully, God is listening and reads all emails and tweets; that’s what Jim Carrey did

Getting depressed.  Why can’t God just slip a memo into my in-basket at work; my other boss does.  I’d send God an email but it would probably get caught in his spam filter.  Could God have written a sequel? Nope; maybe he couldn’t get a publisher.  As far as I can tell, he doesn’t do autographs either

Very depressed now; got writer’s block

Might just sit here and wait for judgment


2 Responses to “God’s Autobiography”

  1. I love your posts, def make me think!
    Question for you, have you ever received a confirmation on something you prayed on? Or have ever had a thought come to you and you follow through on what the thought says to you only to say, wow what a coincidence?
    Example: I recently just moved from Ohio to Florida, I was feeling a bit depressed. I started praying, I had nothing else to really turn to being alone in a new city. Praying felt very uncomfortable for me, I was raised catholic.
    I’ve always prayed but not because I really wanted to, usually only when I felt desperate. Kinda like this last time, but there was something different this time, I really needed it, I craved it, and for the first time actually meant it. I journaled my thoughts, searching for my purpose. The following day I received a text from my friends mom, it happened to be a Sunday, she invited me to church. I chose to ignore the text, it was Sunday, I needed to relax. I was not going to church. I drove to Starbucks instead. On my way to Starbucks I literally felt like I had God on one shoulder and the devil on the other, kinda like Garfield always did. I started to get this overwhelming anxiety that I needed to go to church (anxiety is the only way I can describe it) I begin to have a conversation to myself, no I am not going to church, I don’t have to go. After about 15 minutes, I said fine ill go but I really don’t want to. Yes, this was a conversation I had alone in my car with myself. I can’t describe the feeling, it was urgency rushing through my body. I went home, put myself together and made it to church 5 mins late.
    It’s a non denominational church, so the worship service is a bit intimidating and uncomfortable for me coming from a catholic background. But the message, wow the message. The pastor was speaking directly to me. She (can women even be pastors? I’m used to priests) told my story, she shared her story of when she had moved to Florida 7 years prior, she explained her emotions, they were my emotions. Then she began to speak on what’s your purpose and she began answering every question I had asked the night before in my journal. My mouth was on the floor. I cried. At the moment it was my confirmation that there is a God and I heard from him. That anxiety I was feeling I believe was God nudging me and then through the message He confirmed himself to me.
    I have been attending church faithfully, praying, and reading my bible ever since.
    So many times in life I always thought, what a coincidence, today I believe that to be God.
    I have had many more confirmations on my journey and its exciting. I found God when I least expected and I can’t even put into words the way it has changed me as a person. I am nowhere near perfect and know that I will never be even close but the inner peace I feel is like nothing I have ever experienced. And life is pretty low for me right now, lots of unexpected things have happened, the difference is the struggles aren’t engulfing me like they used to. Before I would see my problems, today I see God.
    Does that make sense to you at all?
    Sorry didn’t mean to write so much.

    • chicagoja said

      I would have to write a whole book to properly answer your question. So here’s the short version. There are universal laws that Creation operates under. Unfortunately, they are not taught in church, nor are they, generally speaking, in the Bible. The Bible does say that you will reap what you sow. That is called the Law of Cause and Effect. Other laws include the Law of Intention and the Law of Desire, which came into play when you prayed in a different way, because you wanted it badly(desire) and meant it(intention). True faith is not so much a belief in God per se (because God is ultimately unknowable), but it is the quiet confidence that comes from knowing that the universe is listening to you. Congratulations on talking to God (so to speak).

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